March 2011
Okay, so I understand the whole “hormone-induced teenage urge” bullshit. Although I have tried desperately to defy my adolescent craving for another guy’s body heat, I have (reluctantly) come to terms with it. Don’t be fooled though; much of my day is still taken up by thinking about it. At this point it’s more than just a fleeting desire, more than just an ephemeral thirst for sex or anything generic like that. I wanna meet someone. I want to meet someone who turns my world upside-down and takes as much interest in me as I do in them. I long for the day when I can hold someone’s hand and call them my boyfriend. I want to kiss my boyfriend. I want to try new things with my boyfriend. I want to have staring contests, play Pokemon, drink iced coffee, make funny faces, and laugh with my boyfriend. I want him to play with my hair and complain about how I won’t stop quoting the movie we’re watching together on a Friday night. I’ll be the first to admit the fact that I am clueless when it comes to any of this relationship business. I’m 16. And believe me when I tell you I’m probably one of the most pure 16 year old fags you’ll come across. But I just feel now is the time where I’m more than ready to start experiencing what life has to offer. I just happen to want to experience it all with a cute boy that likes long hugs and watching old sitcoms at 3 in the morning.